Book 1 of the Vampires, Werewolves and other Shameless Keywords Series
Magic, monsters, and a match made in heaven… maybe.
Oh, and a somewhat mute aardvark.
Hi. I’m Jayne. Yeah, I know, plain human Jayne. But that’s not the story of my life. This book is. It all started with a visit from the Book Fairy. Yeah, the all-powerful Book Fairy. It’s unfortunate we haven’t been on good terms. It’s even more unfortunate that when she finally deigns to visit me, it’s for murder. I mean, a murder. Damn articles, they really do make a difference.
Add in my fantasy lover, a vampire Prince who might just hate me, and things surely can’t get worse, right?
Warning: This is an inverse harem scene type of book. If you don’t like group ceiling sex, this book might not be for you.
Actual Note: Mild profanity. This is a slow burn romance with just the right amount of spiciness to feel comfortable reading on public transit, so long as you’re prepared to laugh out loud. Cliffhanger ending.
Ugh. The words just don’t feel right. It's been a while since my muse visited me and stories flowed smoothly, ideas practically penning themselves. Lately, my work is like an untended garden, weeds everywhere, hedges unpruned, and rodents running rampant. Simile overkill. Mixed visuals. Wrong words. My dreams of making it big time—in the Nobles’ circle or even performing for the Royal family—are fading farther out of reach. I might as well relegate them to my fantasies of the Prince Heir for all the chance I have of ever being more than a starving artist.
It probably doesn't help that I can’t stop thinking about Eliza’s review. That witch. (Pardon my word choice). She’s actually a human like me, Plain Jayne. Despite my red hair and delicate features, I’m most definitely boring compared to all the supernatural beings in Mythia. Eliza, too, is beautiful and also has no magic, but she was gifted with Talent. I like to think my keen intelligence and wit make up for my lack of Talent, at least in my mysteries. Eliza and I actually went to school together, but she’s in the Nobles’ circle now. I would say it’s given her airs, but she’s always had it out for me, and it’s only escalated.
“The worst story ever written,” she’d said. Ugh. I’d made an attempt at fantasy, a deviation from my normal mysteries. But who wants to read made-up fantasy when you have your choice of three magical countries filled with supernatural creatures?
My insecurity hounds me now, telling me my work's never good enough. And I hate to admit it, but maybe there's truth to that. My stories aren’t selling, and if I can’t come up with something amazing soon, I won’t make this month’s rent.
Determined, I face the paper once more. I’ve just got to do it; sex sells. The time has come.
“Get on all fours,” a smoky female voice emanates from beneath the hood. The voice enthralls him, and his wolf wants to come out to play. Confused, he scrambles to comply. She gestures, and a well-built man behind him comes into view, wearing only a pair of worn trousers.
“Ullrich, climb on top of him,” she orders, pulling out a stout, magicked wand.
“Wait, what? Hey, this is not what he signed up for.” The wolf’s eyes grow wide, recognizing the inversion spell.
“This is an Inverse Harem now.” She says the incantation and presses the sacred symbol. Done, the three gently levitate.
The wolf’s not sure about this. He’s never had sex on the ceiling before, let alone with multiple partners.
“If all the Nobles can do it, so can you. Get on the ceiling,” she says with a sultry smile and a commanding bite.
“That doesn’t even make any sense. They’re in the woods,” a feminine voice right beside my ear notes.
“AHH!” I jump up inelegantly and spin towards her, knocking my papers everywhere. A gorgeous blonde wearing dove-gray riding leathers tailored to her perfect curves stands in my living area looking at me with disdain.